Why We Should Give Ourselves More Credit

Monday, 27 August 2018

"Yes but, anyone can do that."

"Yes but, it didn't even take me that long."

"Yes but, other people can do it better than me."

"Yes but, I didn't even plan it to go that way."

"Yes but, if you think so... I don't."

Here are the variety of answers I will give when I get complimented about anything I do. A simple 'thank you' doesn't seem to be a part of my vocabulary at the moment... well actually... ever. I wouldn't say that I'm being modest, I honestly don't see anything that I've achieved as "creditworthy." People can praise me. They can look me directly in the eye and tell me I've done the most amazing thing to them, but it honestly feels like nothing to me. I don't get that warm fuzzy feeling inside. I don't have a smile that stretches from ear-to-ear, and I don't think to myself "wow, I've actually done it." It sort of reminds me of that situation when someone tells you they love you, and you are so not there yet, and all you do is awkwardly smile, say "thankssssssss", and a plan a Mission Impossible style route out of there.

The only way to get to the route of this problem, just like with any issues you have with yourself, is to psychoanalyse. Put yourself under that microscope and see what the hell is wrong with you.

happiness flatlay

I was very quick to realise that it was success. Not the lack of it, but what it means to me. I seem to think that I should only be given credit if I have reached the pinnacles of success. But this success is my own interpretation; a very well paid job, a home, a proper "adult life." Being successful has been drummed into my head since I was young. Now I'm not blaming my parents for any of this. They always told me they were proud of me, but maybe I wanted to be this successful figure to make them proud? Or maybe I was thrown into the false sense of security that great achievement is represented with grades and certificates?

As much I would love to depict all my faults, I'm not here for that, and neither are you. We are here to talk about giving ourselves more credit. We ALL do. So, where do we start? It doesn't matter how big or small it may seem, we need to know we have earned that credit. Now I'm not here to denounce big achievements, that is not what this post is about either. If you've brought a home, or just got your dream job, congratulations. If you've managed to complete little personal conquests you have put your all in, congratulations to you too. There shouldn't be a scale for achievements. And what is this scale based on? Money? Materialistic items? Happiness?

.@helloaycan is sharing her thoughts on why we should give ourselves more credit.

You know my blog is all for inspirational and motivational posts, and I should just list all the things you should give yourself credit for and make you realise you're doing great, but I know this post needs to be a little more than that. I know the route of many evils is the comparisons. How we can open an app on our phones, and suddenly our lives that we've worked so hard on is worthless because somebody, possibly much younger than us, is in the ideal place. They have a better job, they have a better home, they have the perfect smiles on their faces. Again, we are back on that "achievement scale".

I don't think it's a matter of remaining humble, I should know and praise the new things I've done that I wasn't able to do before, or the things I've worked so hard on. But that's the strangest part of all of this. I know I'm working hard. I know if I set my mind on something I will work my butt off to get it done and get it done well. Let's take my blog for example. I had an idea in my bedroom one day, and now I have this platform where I am able to share what I love, and it's read by people from all over the world. This is something I have made entirely on my own. I use this to make an income. I should feel proud. Again, at the back of my mind, I think about all the amazing blogs I read, and how easy it is to start-up, and I just instantly discredit a huge achievement of mine based on numbers. I have a degree, and I'm sure thousands of people have a degree too, but the fact of the matter is, it's something I know I worked so hard for. It doesn't matter if one person has achieved it, or a million. Is a gold medal worth less knowing it can be achieved year after year?

happiness box

Think about 5 things that you deserve credit for this week? It could be waking up on time, or cooking yourself fresh meals, or feeling confident about something you've been working on. I'll share a few of mine; I've organised all my content up to the start of 2019, I managed to go into London without feeling like a nervous wreck, and I managed to make a few difficult decisions. None of these can be measured, but I deserve all the credit.

SO HOW SHOULD I GIVE MYSELF MORE CREDIT?

First of all, you need to realise that credit isn't something that needs to just be given by someone else. Learn to congratulate your own achievements. Being proud of yourself doesn't make you bigheaded. If you've done good, treat yourself. If you've had a long, hard week but you've managed to get through it and all you can think about is a new pair of shoes or a takeaway, get yourself those shoes and that takeaway. You can fall into your food coma as a proud and very full person in beautiful new shoes.

Next time you've done something creditworthy or someone wants to give it to you, embrace it. You know yourself better than anyone. You know how hard you've hard to work, you know what you've had to go through, and I think if we start celebrating every success, we may start taking every credit we deserve.

Do I think this is the best put together post... no. I don't like to over edit posts like this one, as I just wanted my thoughts and feelings to spill out onto the page, and I feel like I've at least achieved that. Sometimes with blog posts, you feel like you need to create an atmosphere around your posts, for me, this was just something I know I needed to get off my chest. Let me know in the comments below what has been your achievements over the last few weeks.